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The birds will sing their songs, and so shall I
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[06 Aug 2006|09:24pm] |
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I added some back dated entries you might interested in.
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[06 Aug 2006|09:17pm] |
You've Got Some Growing Up to Do.
Superchick
Wishes:
The saddest thing is you could be anything, that you could want.
We could've been everything, but now we're not.
Now it's not anything at all.
The hardest part was getting this close to you
and giving up this dream I built with you.
A fairy tale that isn't coming true.
You've got some growing up to do.
I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts,
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.
After all the things you put me through,
tell me why I'm still in love with you.
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call?
You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you.
And taking back the life I gave to you.
Life goes on before and after you.
I've got some growing up to do.
I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts,
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.
Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye.
Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye.
I never quite realized the bondage I was in, but I'm free.
So free it's sweet.
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[06 Aug 2006|09:12pm] |
The Curse Ends Here.
The curse ends here
I'm drawing the line
With the blood of my savior
That cannot be denied
The secrets, the lies
They're coming out today
My generational bondage
I stand to annihilate
Walking in the blessing
I received by grace
By grace I received it
By grace it won't fade
Though the battle is over
And the victory is won
The enemy isn't dead
And his advancements are not done
So this means war
I'm picking up my sword
With Truth in my hand
And Victory in my heart
In boldness I will stand
And the darkness will depart
In The War,
Brenton
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[04 Aug 2006|09:11pm] |
Two Words from Two Friends
Catlin Perrin:
"Heather Mercer's words rang loud in my head again tonight, "What's your best life?" I've spent alot of time lately wondering if that was LA or if that was England. Finally, tonight, I got my answer- it's about being faithful wherever God has me. That might sound so trite to some of you, but it's a lesson only truly understood and learned through experience. It's one of those life occurences that people, especially in Christian circles, will tell you about over and over- but you'll never understand with a measure of depth until you've actually been through it. This is an interesting time of my life- but with a greater measure of confidence, I know the answer to her question."
Once more: "I got my answer- it's about being faithful wherever God has me." When people wake up and see this... life gets fun. Real fun. A testimony of what living that out does to you is next.
Kmy Soto:
"I cannot explain the changes that are taking place within me, nor can I give due worth to all that Christ is proving himself to be in my life...all I know is that I love Him more than I can ever explain. He is my source for everything. He lifts my head when I am lonely. He holds my hand when I am afraid. He wipes my tears when I fall asleep at night. He holds me close when I am unsure. He is my peace. He is my safety. He is my security. He is my love. He is everything to me. I have never had to depend on him more. And I love it."
Beautiful.
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[29 Jul 2006|09:07pm] |
Truth and Immaturity.
They both have a way of exposing themsleves.
"Like a dog that returns to his vomit
is a fool who repeats his folly." -Proverbs 26:11
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[28 Jul 2006|09:19pm] |
From the Bottom of My Heart to the Bottom of the Roosevelt (Introduction)
Narrator: "Love is a powerful thing. Some might say that the very mystery of it is what puts our universe and all that we know life to be in steady motion. Depending on what love is or even Who love is to you, you might find that statement to be far more true than you had anticipated.
"Though time and time again history seems to repeat itself, not every story of love turns out quite like everyone would hope for. Sometimes an end materializes leaving many expectations far unmet. Is there strength to move forward? Is there any reason to continue when what was certain to be destiny abruptly turns to devastation?
"This is where my story begins, a mystery, I might say, of love. A young man left to wonder if there is truly something special about two hearts that are able to beat together. Wondering if the same power is even fractionally attainable among the shallowest of flings, stirrings that come from lesser substitutions and birthed from desperate desolation. Settling for cramming endless efforts into black holes of hollowness. And this, often leading us to accepting wolfs in sheepskin and dumpsters outside of free buffets. Neither coming from the source that is deep and able enough to satisfy and birth a drive of pure and passionate affection. I could only hope that source to be true love and long to know that two hearts in beautiful rhythm would be something special, something rare. Beating like they were the pulsing back bone of a symphony, a symphony of life and love, a symphony that sings the world into perfect and messy motion."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rest in peace my lover,
For you've been murdered in my heart.
Rest in peace dear friend,
For the antibodies have sensed your rebellion.
The extermination has begun.
Your addiction was greater than our love,
For your sake I hope you can kill it.
Or I hope it was worth what you threw away,
But with one fix after another, I wouldn't remain hopeful.
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[21 Jul 2006|09:22pm] |
Unstoppable.
God's perfect will is absolutely unstoppable.
Who can prevent the Soveriegn from having what He desires?
I offer you this advice:
You can seek to walk in His will,
Or you can seek your own.
But remember: His desires will be accomplished,
And I suggest that seeking those will be a lot less painful.
Suffering from walking in the Lord's will is much better than suffering from walking out of it.
"Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones."
-Proverbs 3:7,8
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[15 Jul 2006|09:26pm] |
God is Good ALL the Time.
That is sometimes a difficult phrase to swallow,
But today God has given grace to swallow it well.
We named our record "Desperation Nation," after we decided the song we wrote would become the title track. Every song indeed had a theme of desperation, not of hopelessness, but just complete dependancy of the Father. Every lyric came out of real life, real people, feeling real things, feeling desperation. Listening to our own CD today on a road trip to visit our still hospitalized drummer, Brady, Taylor, and myself all realized how much more the record means to us now. Ironically realizing that our current situations now bring a greater depth to the songs than the original desperate situations they birthed from. I sat in silence realizing that God was so sovereign that He orchestrated a CD that came out of aching hearts that would minister and speak to those same hearts once again on an even deeper level. It was surreal.
So much has been going on, it has hardly been believable, so much struggle, so much drama, so much pain and disappointment, so much frustration and feeling stuck. The most difficult thing being the stress of the final round of the contest for a chance to play at Rock The Desert. What to do with our drummer needs, knowing ours is in the hospital, that we have only played through three songs with Nobody Famous in its etirety in three months, and the fact that we have little to no time to rehearse with a fill in. If Dion was up to par, we would nail it. We know this stuff well, and we would have a couple run throughs this week and go give it our best shot, but he isn't getting out when we thought and the doctor said no way.
We decided to drop out tonight.
Why? I can only say because of the Lord. It makes no sense, but we all knew it was right. Yes, we have drummer issues, having an incredibly ill one, along side having a hard time finding a fill in. But there were still lots of options. We just knew we were out. It was weird. I wouldn't have wanted to quit this is if it wasn't for the Lord giving us the peace. I have been anticipating it for nearly three months as an opportunity to launch our career as a band if we won. It is also the reason I came back from WA when I did. But we are out... and we are at peace about not doing it. I am calling Scars Entertainment in the morning to inform them. This changes a lot of "personal agendas" and it has taken a lot of faith to do this, but as I was reminded of by own voice tonight:
"You're the only one who never fails me
The only one who reigns
Jesus Christ my saving grace
You've always been the same"
He is my hope... and my only one at that.
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[07 Jul 2006|09:25pm] |
My Wife.
I thought I would share a message I received and my repsonse:
"Hi There! It's been a while since I've seen you...how are things going? so i notice on your blogs you write a lot about modesty in females. Tell me what you think is most attractive in a female and what godly men look for in a future spouse. I'm curious to hear. I know for godly women, godliness is definitely most attractive in a man..."
My response:
It's funny you ask such a question I just had a conversation about this. :) Though there may be more than this, there are two verses that make up the recipe for my kind of woman, that these verses would describe who she is,
Having this evidence of Jesus inside of her:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galations 5:22,23
Each one of those are very important to me. (I had a friend tell me she dedicated a week to focusing on each one of those praying for more and living it out, that's attractive).
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives-- when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." - 1 Peter 3:1-4
Those kinds of things are incredibly attractive to me. A gentle and quiet spirit. Yes indeed. How many times does the bible say something is "very precious in God's sight?" A woman who desires that... to be precious in God's sight... that woman will have my attention, and apparently, she will be having a gentle and quiet spirit. I have seen this spirit sneak in on women who pursue Jesus. Reading the word, prayer, the Spirit, it changes them. My kind of woman.
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[01 Jul 2006|10:51pm] |
Make Me Proud.
Plane flights are so inspirational for me. Everytime I fly I write so much stuff. I have a feeling when edited and compressed... this will be the most personally entertaining song I have written, when it is finished being written. It's about relationships.
So from the flight to Alaska: Make Me Proud (the brainstorm version).
Is this worth fighting for? My guess paled to expose
The weight of this resignation (but I know)
If you walk out that door
Youre sending daggers through my heart
I love your words, yes every word
Is treasured in my heart
But would you show me? Thats the art
Of starting happily ever after
Ive never known anything worth anything
To be trouble free I guess well see
How much love means to us
We both know nothings free so this cant be
Hearts wide open the truth unfolded
How much love means to us
Lets break it down
We both know talk is cheap
What I really want to see
Is what you can do in action
Give me faithful satisfaction
On the frontlines in your mind
What I really want to find
Is someone getting shot down
Its self-defense, if you see it from my angle
Im talking batty eyes for glancing guys
No more playing with those knives
Phone numbers out the window
Unavailable on the menu
But dont you cry, the other side
Is my love and you can find
Ill give you all the same things
Even MIAs respectively (I mean its self-defense, if you see it from my angle)
Is it worth it? Its worth it to me
When its on the line in heated times
Real love is realized
I want your faithfulness to be genuine
You have my own, you have my own
Can I have yours.
Its a brand new day go make me proud.
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[30 Jun 2006|12:17am] |
Unto Us A Child Is Born
I have given birth! I have been passing a kidney stone and completed it just a few hours ago... and decided on the victor and namer of the stone (from a myspace contest). It shall be called... JOY! The very first entry actually, my beautiful little cousin, found here. Anything referring to scripture immediately had an advantage for me.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." -James 1:2,3
So Joy it is. Welcome to the world. I have some baby pictures... but first a humorous story at the expense of my embarassment. It might be graphic (or just gross). Sorry. I had this thing in me for two weeks and was having to strain (my urine) every time I went to the restroom. Number one thing you have to do when passing a kidney stone is up the fluids... a lot. So I have had over 48 bottles of water in the last two weeks... and that's just the water. What does that mean? It means I have had to go to the bathroom a lot... a whole lot. So straining became a way of life... second nature if you will. Today immediately after someone prayed for this thing to get out of me... I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. So I grabbed my bag (which has become my kidney stone survival kit) and went down the hall, thinking nothing of it. So I grab the strainer... and... carry on with business... again second nature. Then... bam! Kidney stone! *Pause* But for about two seconds I am freaked out... like in slow motion thinking... "What the heck is it that? Something just shot out of me?" I mean I am really confused. So I stare at it... and then it hits me... "You idiot! You are passing a kidney stone... that is why you are straining!!" Man I felt stupid... and proceeded to laugh at myself for a while. The end. Hope you enJOYed it. So with out any further adieu, here is Joy:
I need to measure still, but she is definitely bigger than the 2mm they said she was. I also found out the other day that 99% of the tubules in your kidney are 1mm wide. So that means that sharp little sister was forcing her way and cutting me up the whole way through. The pain all makes sense with that knowledge. Thank you for your prayers, they were greatly appreciated, and definitely noticed!
PS - I danced today... to the whole "Hello, Good Friend" record (The Rocket Summer). It was amazing fun. Bryce Avery is my antidepressant.
PSS- I peed without a strainer for the first time in a long time a few minutes ago... it was lovely.
PSSS - I am the best air guitarist there is. Challenge me. I dare you. After the Rocket Summer today... I can woop all you fools. I am back.
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[09 Jun 2006|06:18pm] |
The Fool.
These are overflow from my spirit, not scripture, so take from it what you will:
He is a fool who says, "I wish to be better,"
but runs from correction.
Misguided is he who says, "I wish to change,"
but expects to give nothing up.
And no wiser is the man who says, "I want humility,"
but is too stubborn to not be proud,
and too proud to not be stubborn.
Turn from your simplemindedness, and learn,
and experience life in wisdom.
Embrace correction and seek it,
and become who you hope to be.
Embrace humility and sacrifice,
and become rich in the Spirit.
Let go of your fleshly and worldly desires,
turn and seek eternal things,
and find the desires of your heart.
I am The Fool.
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[14 May 2006|12:05am] |
Attention is a drug.
To the flirts, to the players, to the new "friend" every weekends:
Attention is a drug, and you're addicted
I've heard it, I've seen it, just admit it
A razor blade Band-Aid (tape it on)
A deception to cover up your wounds
A fix that leaves you hollow
Your scars, your pain, you're cutting it deeper
Break your arm to numb your heart
With your craving increasing immunity
What will it cost you next time
Deal with your lack of self worth
With an ever cheapening appeal
What will it cost them next time
Doesn't make sense to me either.
It could end today.
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[10 May 2006|12:46pm] |
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If worship has not begun before you open your mouth, it's not going to begin because you do.
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[01 May 2006|04:18pm] |
A Miracle.
For quite some time now, I have been held from leaving Texas to answer a call to mission work in Seattle. Vehicle problems and transportation issues have piled into amounts that would take far too long to go into detail about. But, in short, I will say that is was so much, that the frequency of failure kept frustration and discouragement knocking hard at my door.
The last attempt was to repair a broken vehicle of mine to make the road trip and after being repaired, even more serious problems arose. Water in the oil. We had just replaced the Head and Gaskets, which are the two lesser problems of the three things it could have been, leaving the worst and most expensive now at hand. A sequence of events happened: a few days of brainstorming, many peoples' specific prayers for my vehicle, waiting on some promised help that just couldn't seem to follow through, and then me speaking the words, "Please get me to Seattle," over my vehicle. That night, my brother, who had done much of the work on the car, went to check it out.
Untouched before that time. It started. It ran fine. There is no longer water in the oil.
Praise God! Tell me He isn't alive and well!
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[01 May 2006|04:17pm] |
Dreams and Calls.
There are dreams and there are calls.
I would like to share this truth; there are many dreams and passions within the hearts of men and women and despite what you have been told, there are too many for you to accomplish in one lifetime.
There are those that dream greater than I, and I would need nine lives to accomplish all of the things that I desire. That is, in my own strength. But, rest in truth; God knows your dreams and the desires of your heart. For you who are adopted in, God has placed a call of obedience on your life pouring out from fatherly care and protection, brotherly love and affection, and passionate intimacy only weakly portrayed by that of a lover. That call, coming from those desires, is to bless you and fulfill the desires that rest deep inside of you. That obedience is the beginning of your greatest dreams coming true. Receive this:
Chase your dreams, and fail. Chase your call, and watch your dreams come true.
Men and women, this takes great faith. For we cannot comprehend how pursuing one thing would quench the many dreams in our hearts, and we never will fully comprehend it. Trust God and his promise and enjoy walking in the life and satisfaction that I, even now, am already beginning to taste! And watch all of your dreams live themselves out! Even ones you forgot you had! I am experiencing this very thing. How sweet it is.
In The War,
Brenton
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[19 Apr 2006|05:20pm] |
Sex Isn't Love.
I have come to an unsettling acknowledgment. When I look around this is what I see:
Men dont know what a man is.
Women dont know what a woman is.
Neither knows what the other is.
And no one knows what love is.
I would like to make some obvious statements that should go against some pathetic unstated beliefs of our society. They are blunt and pointed so with caution, here they are:
1) Just because a male can "please" a female and the two experience physical pleasure, this does not make him a man or mighty or cool, nor does it make him special. I would like to state that even dogs are capable of this.
2) Just because a female dresses, flirts, and behaves in a way that causes the whole of the male race to give her their attention and desire to sleep with them, this does not make her a woman or attractive or beautiful, nor does it make her special. I would like to state that this makes her easy, that, or a false advertisement... of being easy.
With all of that stated, now my exhortation. Brothers and sisters, I beg you to see how your generation has and is shredding love, shredding sex, and shredding intimacy. Please see that men are defined by things much different than what our society portrays. They should be bold, meek, humble, and strong with his source for all coming from the Father, standing firm in the Truth that we have been given in Christ Jesus. Please see that women are beautiful and secure because they were handcrafted by God to be bold, meek, humble, and modest by the source given from the Father, also standing firm in Christ! They arent beautiful because bare skin, partial body parts, and flirty language and behavior draws the attention of wandering eyes and wandering men, equally confused.
If you will trust God you will soon find out that godly men and women are searching for boldness and security in the opposite sex. Boldness and security in Christ. Not lady's men and flirts. Be encouraged you few bold walkers and modesty lovers, you will be blessed in this life and the next! Dont buy society's or "neat" Christianity's lack of wisdom. Dont let them tell you what a man is and what a woman is. They've proven what they know. Look at Hollywood. Look at divorce. Look at STDs and orphans. Look at abortion. Look at battered and shattered emotions and dreams. Now turn, and look at life. It's not too late. It's never too late.
In The War,
Brenton
PS Listen to Switchfoot's "Easier Than Love" off of their newest record, "Nothing is Sound." It says all of this all too well.
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[17 Apr 2006|10:50pm] |
Sister Who I Love.
My sister is such an awesome girl. Today on our family Easter camp out, we discussed where her senior picnic (our school's tradition) was going to be after she asked me where mine was at. They are going to have it at our local YMCA. She said, "Its cool because we have the pool and all, so we can swim... but oh..." And this is where I was reminded how cool my sister is. "Man, that might be kind of awkward... I will be the only one wearing shorts... and probably a shirt too. I haven't thought about that... the only time I ever swim is with the youth group and we have to wear both... and I don't want to do it any differently." My sister cares about covering up her body and saving it for her husband, and I tell you he will be a blessed man! She has a love for modesty and I love it so much!
It wasn't... "Oh... now I will feel left out and nerdy so I guess I will have to bust out my bikini and let down my standards." Or "You don't understand Brenton, its hard being a girl and covering up... you look dumb." Instead it was, "But oh... man that will be awkward... I WILL be the only one." I love you Kayla! Keep setting an example. Be proud that you are one of the few girls that haven't shown the world 90% or more of her body in swimsuits and 50% of her breasts in her daily apparel and 70% on a lean over... all before your very own husband gets to see it! (When he should be the only one!) Keeping setting a standard!
I also wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you very much to you girls who care enough about themsleves, enough about their purity hungry brothers, and enough about their walk with Christ to obey scripture and preserve themselves! I do not say it enough, thank you very much! I know it may be discouraging when girls wear their tops a little lower and a little lower and get all the attention while you seem unnoticed in your beautiful dresses of godliness. But I say God will reward you in FULL! Do not doubt your reward will be greater and so will your husband. (And what joy you will bring him)! Press on and keep covering up! I know its not easy!
With love,
Brenton
PS - If you have time check out this incredible post about gender roles in the bible. Its by a friend of mine named Brittney Richardson, great wisdom here! Here is the link: "On 'Holding Doors' and Such."
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[13 Apr 2006|04:35pm] |
Empty. Dissatisfied. Restless. Not Me.
"Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. As it is said, "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion." For who were those who heard and yet rebelled? Was it not all those who left Egypt led by Moses? And with whom was he provoked for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness? And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient? So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief."
-Hebrews 3:12-19
I exhort (strongly encourage or urge to do something) you brothers and sisters. I beg you. Please see the truth that this scripture promises you. Don't miss out on the sweetness of life. Don't miss out on lasting pleasure and satisfaction... without guilt and regret in morning! I beg you to see this correlation:
Disobediance: No rest. No direction. Hardened. Not hearing. Empty. Frustrated.
Obedience: Rest. Life. Purpose. Joy. Satisfaction. Communion with the Father!
The Bible isn't a list of rules to mark your failures or separate the dirty from the "too dirty." It's not to take away the "joys" of life. It is LIFE! And it is your loving Father telling you the secrets of the most incredible way to enjoy it. The Bible is God saying... I made you... trust me on this one. You want to feel good? You want have purpose? Sick of feeling worthless and empty? Stop believing the lies and heed my word! I love you! Why would I ask for anything less than what was best for you! All the people that look at the Word with frustration and call it religion and rules are all the ones that lay awake at night feeling empty and useless. Maybe thats you. It was me at one point.
Friends, loved ones, I beg you to trust the Word (and know it!), so "that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." It's happening all around you. Come have Life! It's hell with out it!
In The War,
Brenton
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[13 Apr 2006|06:34am] |
Oh, how you used to have all of it.
And its all still there, if you would only open your eyes.
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